Re-Experiencing the Self at the Cedar Island Lodge — Kingston Theatre Alliance

For the first time in a while, I was able to understand what it means to be in the present. 

It is an understatement to say that the pandemic has taken its hold on us as we have spent the past year-and-a-half navigating preparations for the future. Nerves, fears, and everything that lurks in the shadows of the next moment surrounded me for quite some time, chasing my joys out of my existence and leaving me in perpetuated panic. But on August 20th, I received a special invitation from the Kick & Push Festival to attend an award ceremony in a concrete gazebo standing in the middle of the beautiful Cedar Island, with large trees and hills joining the party.

Sponsored by Canada Parks, the CEDAR ISLAND LODGE experience is presented by the Indigeniichii: Soles on Cedar residency program and was created by B Solomon, Mariana Mendelian, daniel jelani ellis, and Cheri Maracle. Following the 45-minute performance, we were given the chance to talk to the collaborators about their creation process and connections to the piece, the land, and each other. Through movements and vocalizations, we witness these four people interact with each other and with the free space around them in a way that is free and honest. 

To let you in on a secret, I felt really bad because of how guarded I was during my time on the island. Being at a location I was unfamiliar with, for a performance I didn’t quite know enough about, in a format I haven’t encountered lately… I was intimidated to say the least. And even more so when I realized we had to get in a boat to reach the performance space, which was very out of the ordinary for me. Perhaps it was my inexperience with experimental theatre or my overthinking of every aspect, but still, I sat and sifted through my own discomfort as I attempted to join in on the theatrical ceremony. 

It was not until the talkback that I was able to reaffirm some of my thoughts and learn about the process, themes, and the social impact of performance. As this was a devised piece, Solomon notes that it was important to have everyone contribute to bring in the self and autonomy as a step towards decolonizing the concept of a singular voice. What results in exploring presence with ourselves and each other is an incredibly multidimensional word that manifested itself into the creation process, the history of Cedar Island, and with ourselves. 

ellis echoed that the scene where he left the raucous party to catch a breath  was a last-minute addition, but was quickly welcomed by the group. The way he grounded himself through his body with the land, reminded the audience of times where we too felt overwhelmed and needed a moment to recenter ourselves. ellis hauntingly croons the song Sometimes I Feel Like a Motherless Child (a slavery-era spiritual widely recognized from Jesus Christ Superstar!) before he frantically sprints around the gazebo. There is a rhythm that comes from working collectively, and by following the natural spirit of creativity, behaviours are elevated to exist organically and removing any learned behaviour of a colonized world. 

Every artist notes the importance of the presence of nature around them as people were not meant to stay inside, and that being outside would allow for the organic process of discovering movement. As well, nature is the connection between times, allowing a physical and symbolic reclamation of the space that was taken away from Indigenous peoples (specifically the Wendake-Nionwentsïo and the Haudenosaunee), especially during a dire time where we are witnessing the mainstream rediscovery of residential schools. 

With European-colonialism, the Indian Act, Sixties Scoop, broken treaties, and environmental abuse in mind, it is vital to recognize the importance of Indigenous peoples and their resilience despite living in a country that refuses to continuously and unconditionally acknowledge the injustices they have suffered. In these moments where we have the privilege to witness their joys, I am humbled to watch the actors inhabit and celebrate their Indigeneity.

As we wrapped up, I looked around and beyond one fleeting moment leading up to another —the accumulation of bug bites over the hour, sharing a red solo cup of champagne with inspiring artists, and breathing freely without the anxious condition that comes with a final-year university student who needs to decide on her future. Right then and there, I was able to recognize exactly where I was. Cedar Island has my heart and my soul for this gift they gave me. 

The world is grim, there’s no shame in admitting that, but there are also times worthy of celebration. I hope those who read this page find those moments despite the frantic nature of this world. Though we are here temporarily, our legacies are permanent– let’s work together to make it a good one 

CEDAR ISLAND LODGE is created by the Indigeniichii: Soles on Cedar residency program. Be sure to check out their Q+A session as well!